Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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