I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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