AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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