I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
