just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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