her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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