The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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