I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize