watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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