Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
