i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just want to make out with him forever
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
