She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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