You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
