Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
one might say we're banned from that church
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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