look no pants
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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