so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
