I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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