I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's official drugs can't kill me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
