Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
