I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
