the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
