hell yes lets make some ravioli
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
