I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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