yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
