all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
