hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize