Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
