a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize