Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
