Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
