It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
