question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No stitches, just platelets and will power
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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