How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
