i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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