Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
look no pants
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
