But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
