thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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