You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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