Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
