plz talk dirty to me
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just found a bag of teeth...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize