the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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