Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Randomize
