You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
