as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
