i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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