There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
