Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
