Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
