Your tits are I can't wait for
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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