Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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