go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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