My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
