I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
