Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize