i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
