dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
