i think my mom watched the whole time
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
