WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
