I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
