Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
