You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We got so high we made milksteak
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
