Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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