that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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