U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
