think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
