Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There r osticjed everywhere
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
