im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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