isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
