Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
