Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
