The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
